Twenty-three poor girls just looking to buy a little friendship got unceremoniously ejected from sorority life at DePauw University last November, as the NYT's reports, under the guise of being "insufficiently committed."

And by "insufficiently committed" Delta Zeta headquarters meant the girls were insufficiently committed to purging, nose jobs, and peroxide-- all twenty three were overweight and also included the only members of color in the sorority.
Now I usually avoid empathizing with those who live the Greek life, but my heart softens a little for pretty chubsters and minorities (I'm like a really good person). So girls, for a small monthly due, I willing to cook with you, gossip, watch MTV, and figuratively, okay maybe sometimes literally, hold you down on the bed for drunken acne-ridden frat boys. Individually Unique, Together Complete! 4 eva.