Monday, November 16, 2009

Weight Loss

Today I start my Whatever You Like (T.I. inspired) diet.
A pair of edible underwear for dinner,
another pair for lunch,
Patron for a 4pm snack,
and late night sex, so wet and tight, for dinner.

Unlike other diets which can seem embarrassingly middle-aged and Midwestern, the Whatever You Like diet doubles as great party conversation, and most people will think good things about you because they connote edible underwear with fruit roll-ups and fun-loving Delia's models.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

As it happens, Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! were also my first words as I was climbing out of a space-age German coffin upon birth. Is it weird to say I'm so proud that Lady G is part of my tribe?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Yo Betches. I finally got around to uploading my story on female eaters in the latest issue of Bitch. You may read it here. Or you may go here and watch Axl Rose being stoned by a fan. Your choice!