Saturday, June 30, 2007

A Farewell to Housies

I already miss you like Lohan misses blow, and I'll probably get really bloated and grouchy during my detox process too.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Perfect Ratio Investigates

It's happened to someone you know. A loving couple descends upon a seemingly innocent photo machine to get a glimpse of their future offspring. All good fun, until the child emerges. Suddenly the relationship is strained, break ups occur, elaborate wedding plans are canceled for the greater good of humanity's collective eyesight. In this special blog segment the machine that has destroyed 1,000 relationships is put to the test: Is the Gene Machine an accurate predictor of the future, or is it an evil, cold-hearted marriage breaker who seeks to destroy love because it has never possessed the warmth of another's heart itself? We'll provide the evidence. You decide.

In the first segment of this investigative report, Perfect Ratio entered the seventh circle of frat boy hell in order to visit said machine with the this logical scheme in mind: A child created from Perfect Ratio and Perfect Ratio, should yield a perfect genetic clone. Result #1:

Yes, it would seem the machine is a fraud. But wait, what if Perfect Ratio possesses a chimera (see last episode of House), and what if her twin that never developed is a small black boy with an irregular head shape? Or as Joe notes the machine "managed to infer that if you married your clone, your white guilt would be so overpowering that you would adopt a microcephalic African-American boy." Apparently nothing can be concluded yet.

So Perfect Ratio decided to machine copulate with her very pretty friend and let her inner Moutarde show through. See exhibit #2:

Now it's up to you to decide.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Saying bloundes r dumb cuz theyze don't need to be smart in ordar to attractz the boyz is like saying women rnt foony cuz theyze too prettzy to need to be foony.

Friday, June 8, 2007

That popscicle post apparently offended my little sister's sensibilities.