Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Perfect Ratio Investigates

It's happened to someone you know. A loving couple descends upon a seemingly innocent photo machine to get a glimpse of their future offspring. All good fun, until the child emerges. Suddenly the relationship is strained, break ups occur, elaborate wedding plans are canceled for the greater good of humanity's collective eyesight. In this special blog segment the machine that has destroyed 1,000 relationships is put to the test: Is the Gene Machine an accurate predictor of the future, or is it an evil, cold-hearted marriage breaker who seeks to destroy love because it has never possessed the warmth of another's heart itself? We'll provide the evidence. You decide.

In the first segment of this investigative report, Perfect Ratio entered the seventh circle of frat boy hell in order to visit said machine with the this logical scheme in mind: A child created from Perfect Ratio and Perfect Ratio, should yield a perfect genetic clone. Result #1:

Yes, it would seem the machine is a fraud. But wait, what if Perfect Ratio possesses a chimera (see last episode of House), and what if her twin that never developed is a small black boy with an irregular head shape? Or as Joe notes the machine "managed to infer that if you married your clone, your white guilt would be so overpowering that you would adopt a microcephalic African-American boy." Apparently nothing can be concluded yet.

So Perfect Ratio decided to machine copulate with her very pretty friend and let her inner Moutarde show through. See exhibit #2:

Now it's up to you to decide.


Gaby + Simone said...

the one of you and gaby is like the demon spawn of george burns.

Perfect Ratio said...

Great, cuz I just birthed it this morning as a birthday present for Moutarde.