Thursday, May 21, 2009

Land of the Lost, Land of the Malls

Oh hi! Haven't posted for a while. I was visiting the parental abode last week, spending perfect spring days alternating my time between the indoor confines of the Mall of Amer and various chain restaurants, getting to intake some much missed trans fat in a state that still doesn't have a senator.

Anyway, I saw Star Trek last night. What a rollicking romp of a revel! I have much I want to say about it, but not really in any coherent paragraphic form, so bear with les bullets:
1.) Flip phones in the first scene, really? This is supposed to be "the future" after all. Is this foreshadowing some terrible fate for the iPhone? Do Romulans gain majority shareholder stake in Apple during the space year 5306-87-6839? So many questions. And a little sadness, for I think the movie could have gone differently had the Federation possessed iPhones. Impending spaceship crash? THERE'S AN APP FOR THAT (TM)

2.) Captain Kirk is dating Audrina, or so says OneIndia, the most reputable source for Hollywood gossip. Or Hollywood gossip, outsourced.

3.) Okay, that bar scene in Iowa--- was that not Good Will Hunting meets space age setting? Genius townie walks into a bar, flirts with hot female cadet, she insinuates he doesn't know what xenolinguistics is. Genius Townie gives a perfect definition. Male cadet comes over and is like, "Is this dumb townie bothering you?" Hot cadet is like, "no, I can handle him." Still, fight ensues because Genius Townie loves fights! Then academy professor looks up Genius Townie's files and discovering that his "apptitude tests are off-the-charts" gives him a lofty speech about his destiny. Moral being: No Undisclosed Genius is Ever Left Behind, Ever. Not in Boston. Not in Iowa. Not in the Future. NOT FAIR.

4.) Homeland Security should take comfort that the chauvinistic American cowboy personality is always right, even in space. Western Hem's future dominance assured! Terrorists lose!

Lastly, they showed a preview for Land of the Lost before the film last night. I will see this because I like Will Ferrell. I also thought it was interesting that half of the comedy seems based on "ironic CGI", like this-scene-is-funny-because-it's-painfully-obvious-that-Will-Ferrell-is-standing
in-front-of-a-blue-screen (see top picture). This is good, because CGI nowadays is like an annoying scholarship student always showing off its accomplishments.

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