Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Perhaps the one thing that has proliferated more than viruses in the 21st century is dating service websites. That is, if you don't count dating service websites as viruses. Deep thought!

There's for people who like going to free screenings of chick flicks and/or have incurable STDs. There's for those who live a couch-sunken existence. And there's today's find--, for those who are married but want to conduct extramarital affairs. The tagline: When Monogamy Becomes Monotony. And that's TRADEMARKED. Classy! I was under the impression that when monogamy became monotony one either got a divorce or a bedroom swing and handcuffs. Not so!

Anyhow, the site begs more than a few questions, like,

Does one have to be married to join or can one just be into married people?

Where did that married harlot on the front page get her lipstick because I've been looking for that shade?

And who exactly is "Ashley Madison"? Is she a famous homewrecker known widely in homewrecking circles? A code word to connote one is married, but GGG? The unfortunate name of the out-of-wedlock child produced by such dalliances outside the marital bond?

Anyhow, Marmsies deconstructed the problems of this site quite nicely via email today. In general Marmsies is an excellent problem deconstructress and has an entire blog showcasing her talent, which you should read (Duh).

Marmsies: I can’t stop looking at this Ashley website thing!

PR: It's terrible. What if both partners signed up secretly and ended up going on a cheater affair date with each other? Comedy of Errors! What also sucks is you have to be married...what if you're just a single gal who wants to be with a married dude because it's less pressure?? Like that Guardian article!

Marmsies: Gross! That article was gross, is what I mean. Where is this alleged ‘pressure’ I keep hearing so much about???
But anyway, the website offended me b/c it used all this evolutionary theory about monogamy that I do pretty much believe, but then exploited it in the service of grossness. Like, ugh, why don’t you try not being married if you hate it so much, jerkface? People do it every day!

PR: I hate when people use evolutionary biology for dumb reasons. I mean I kind of just hate evolutionary biology. Like women like pink because they picked berries or whatever. Fuck you, EVO BIO.

Marmsies: I hate evolutionary biology 99% of the time, though I guess it’s not evolutionary biology to be against the monogs, it’s just biology biology. But anyway, you can’t use science to prove that affairs are okay, duh. That’s like using theater to prove that car crashes are okay or something. Maybe my project while I am single will be to get a profile on this site, and then when we go meet up for dates, I will be standing there with a poster board that says GET A DIVORCE IF YOU HATE HER SO MUCH, DICKHEAD and balloons and the bullshit horn.

PR: LOLBrilliant.

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