Named perhaps for his ability to compose sweet melodies in the bedroom, Mozart, a male iguana in Belgium has been sentenced to penis amputation in a few days for his inability to lay to rest his angry week-long reptile erection.

And this may be the single best sentence ever to pass through the text galleys of Associated Press:

"Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news."


Sad yes, but tragic no: Mozart, along with the other males of his species, is blessed with two iguana dicks, one of which isn't acting like such a big swollen prick and thus will be saved.