Monday, September 22, 2008

Meet A Swing State Voter!



The stats: Gaga, age 87, resides in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Interests: Two And A Half Men; lipstick; Jewish boyfriends; the temple; me; me with Jewish boyfriends; rom-coms; sliced tomatoes; musical theater; local news anchors.

THE INTERVIEW

Gaga:
How are you little sweetheart!?
How you’ve been?
Have you seen any movies? I liked The Woman. Beverly slept through the whole thing! I was going to wake her but I though oh, let her sleep. I only wake her if she’s snoring. It’s a crazy show.

PR:
I saw it--Meg Ryan’s face looked terrible!

Gaga:
You know what I loved? That Burn To Read one. I was laughing and laughing. I drank a whole pop by myself so I had to go to the bathroom halfway through, but I couldn’t get up!

PR:
What are you doing tonight?

Gaga:
Tonight is Dancing With The Stars.

PR:
Can I interview you?

Gaga:
Can you what?

PR:
Can I interview you about the election?

Gaga:
Say! Talking about the election-- I was excited today because I keep saying oy vey obama isn’t going to get it and then I just happened to turn on The View and Clinton was on! He talked nice about mccain too, but when they asked him who was going to get it he said obama. He said he was sure he was going to get it. He was saying people have changed in America—different races and such, but that he was sure obama was going to get it.

PR:
Was he good on The View? I missed it.

Gaga:
OY that Hasselhoff, for two years I’ve been saying they should fire her. First of all I can’t stand her voice, second of all she’s a staunch..i don’t know what you call it...crazy person, she keeps talking and talking but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. There’s a Yiddish word for that.

PR:
Who are you going to vote for?

Gaga:
Obama!

PR:
Can you talk about why?

Gaga:
I like him, he's a nice young man. I think he's presentable. He's calm, he doesn't get exciteable. He's young. Nice-looking. Jenna saw in person! She said he was very good-looking, and sounds better in person than on TV.... Is that good enough?

PR:
What do you think of McCain?

Gaga:
First of all he's TOO OLD to be a president.
I think he'll follow Bush, he's got a lot of Bush's ideas.

PR:
Do you think he's a good speaker?

Gaga:
NO! (laughs)

PR:
Cindy McCain?

Gaga:
I think she's a stiff board—she's no asset. She's a billionaire, you know. Her father died, he had another daughter, he didn't leave her anything. He left it all to that one..... Say! I got a cute story to tell you. There's a cute guy in the building here I meet him a couple times, he wanted to carry my packages. He's really young really sweet, just adorable. So when I went to the Ordway to see Yankee Doodle Dandy, I thought god, the main guy, he looks just like him! I get in the car afterwards and tell your parents, I say, he's the actor in the show! The cute young guy in the building! So today I'm going up to wash clothes he's standing there with a bunch of boxes I said I have a question to ask you: are you an actor? He says yes. I asked: are you in yankee doodle dandy? He says yes. I told him! I said oh I just loved the show! He's going to be Tony in Tony and Tina when it comes back. I couldn't believe the whole thing. Isn't that funny?

PR:
Yes!

Gaga:
Your parents thought I was imagining it.

PR:
So funny.

Gaga:
Your grandma's pretty sharp!

PR:
I know! What do think of Sarah Palin?

Gaga:
I think she should stay home and take care of her 5 kids, I don't want her to be my president. She went 6 different colleges so I don't think she's the sharpest tack.

PR: What do you make of her popularity?

Gaga:
For a minute they didn't know who she was, then she was popular because she was a woman, now popularity is going down. Last week he won the week here, obama. In the polls. I think Minnesota ia going to be democratic.

PR: How are you getting to the polls?

Gaga:
Oh! And I didn't understand that lipstick joke. I thought it was so stupid, I couldn't make out what THAT was about for the life of me. Did you see SNL? Can you believe those two the way they looked alike? She's a pretty lady, but she needs a new hairdo.

PR:
Joe Biden?

Gaga:
I love him! He is so sweet. I heard his son is Attorney General of Delaware. He's married. And one of his sons is married to a Jewish girl!

PR:
How do you know?

Gaga:
It was in the Jewish World. He has two sons. You know his wife got killed—you know that story. They both grew up and one is married to a Jewish girl.

3 comments:

floridagirlinsydney said...

Smart Lady- they really do need to fire Hasselhoff or whatever the hell her name is.

liz said...

I will drive Gaga to the polls, but only if she will discuss her moviegoing adventures with me.

Perfect Ratio said...

you know she's been angling to see My Best Friend's Girl with someone...