How Do We Save Our Boys From The School System's Feminist Agenda?

You have castrated my most important organ....my mind!

In light of the eye-opening New York Post column written by National Organization of Men head Marty Nemko about the feminization of young school boys (did others know that NOM existed? Because, uh, I was under the impression that, like, our entire government was just a big fat NOM) I would like to issue an emergency change of curriculum, to be enacted immediately in all public schools across the nation. Also private schools choosing to opt out of this curriculum change shall be required to hang a Welcome To The Dollhouse banner over their front entry doors.

To combat the "non-competitive learning", "tales of relationships and heroines", and the female teacher majority that Nemko outlines as the cause of flailing boys today, all schools from this day forth shall adhere to a program based on THERE WILL BE BLOOD that will nurture, I mean, erect strongly the competition in each boy's innate malehood.


FIRST, all history lessons shall revolve around capitalist men with moustaches.


SECOND, each day every boy shall get a milkshake, then they shall attempt to drink other boy's milkshakes.

THIRD, Sexual Education shall be taught to the sound of high-pitched existential ringing.

FOURTH, each Friday boys shall go to the brothel for women and whiskey.

FIFTH, Daniel Day Lewis shall be cloned, and brought into schools to teach every course.