A Brief Pictoral Ode to Shift Dresses from Decades Past That I Would Consider Stealing from a Planet Hollywood Display

Audrey Hepburn; button shift; plays down big boobs nicely. Obviously not necessary for Hepburn, which is why it should belong to me.




Edie Sedgwick; shirt dress; hides track marks; elevates muse status. I am not going to specify for which of those features I desire this dress, but duhz, I'm not suspiciously skinny.



Twiggy; sleeveless monotone shift; hides anorexia, sort of (omg, her legs!). This dumb bitch doesn't deserve clothes after her mean-spirited comments to any girl over, like, 70 pounds on ANTM. Give me.